there's no point in living so let's die together
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: [book: The Alliance of the 15s] It was too easy to give up on life, to want to die. Even for the children who were supposed to be buttered with hope. /Contains themes of death and suicide
1. 1

**A/N:** A Japanese-only novel by Mita Masahiro, with the English translation available by japanesenovels at their wordpress blog. The themes of life and death are quite interesting in it, so this poetry collection is aiming to explore some of those. Enjoy!

Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #029 – futuristic.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/1/**

It's a waste to try too hard.  
Once you lose something, you've lost everything  
too young – is that how it is?

It's what they say, anyway,  
but truthfully,  
isn't that what you're supposed to do?  
Aim for the top,  
for the future…

So why was it that those adults  
didn't want me to aim?  
Promises, truths, ideals,  
the greatness of this new generation  
they sit upon –

It's all a lie.


	2. 2

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #005 – hallowed.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/2/**

His suicide had made the place sacred ground  
before his life, but only for people like him  
who cared to read on, between those lines  
left behind, wondering the deeper meanings  
that adults, who should have cared,  
had tossed so easily aside.

And it seemed there were too many  
careless people like that: perhaps, even,  
the world was filled with them,  
those grafittiers who wrote all over the worlds,  
those cutting words,

That worthlessness of life immortalised  
on a proverbial grave.

Even a statement like that once too brightly shining boy  
couldn't be made,  
but commenting on the worthlessness of it all  
was okay.


	3. 3

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #011 – excited.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/3/**

There was no love lost  
with life; he had a house  
but for all the years he'd been there  
he could never call it his home.

It wasn't inconsequential,  
rather, the place that pulled him back  
to that resting state that was  
oh so close to death…

And it was too easy to call it an empty place,  
even when the chimes of piano keys  
drifted from below  
and his mother's voice…

It could have been just another building,  
just like all space in the grave became  
inconsequence:  
his home.


	4. 4

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #048 – suppose.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/4/**

"Someone's life depends on this."  
That was what Tetsuya said to him:  
those almost emotionless words  
still more passionate  
than any music that came  
from his fingertips

And that demand was so carelessly made  
he just shrugged and took it on  
because he didn't have anything like that

But that's the difference, isn't it?  
What it means to have a goal  
you can put your heart towards,  
and something else  
that he's just ambling towards

And in the end it does come together:  
that sonnet he'd hated so much before  
the most passionate piece he'd ever played  
in the wake of that girl's death,  
the other's reason

That's become his reason as well  
to break that careless promise he'd made  
before he'd realised that:

Naomi, who was no gone, who they mourned  
and Tetsuya, still alive with him.


	5. 5

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #013 – sharp.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/5/**

He's been to the hospital before, but that smell  
is something he's never really known.  
Maybe because it's just another one of those things  
he's listened to, from the outside,  
like his mother's music classes,  
a foreign language  
he'd never wanted nor tried to learn.

But the smell of sickness and death assaults him  
all at once, like that sharp pain of his chest:  
that echo that's dragged him to the inner door  
but no further

But now he's in deep, in the place where those sicker people  
were, pale forms on beds, weak and thin  
and on their way home

But he's never seen that before  
and he doesn't have a clue  
what to expect.


	6. 6

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #003 – bubble.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/6/**

He didn't know what to expect from  
that white bed, but smiles and bubbly laughter  
wasn't it. He couldn't find the words to describe her  
but she'd manage to grip his heart tight,  
and she can't let it go

And he wants her to let it go because  
as much as he gets to know her move,  
get closer,  
he's more frightened than ever  
because she seizes him  
and tears him apart inside

And, for her, it's so easy to do  
because she's in that bed, at the end of her life  
with no more dreams she can see, fulfil,  
even if she talks about them all  
to him

And she wants to do those things,  
he can tell, but there's just no time  
and even from before, he hears her rushing  
through her life.

She doesn't know what she wants.  
Neither does he.  
It's the perfect time to go and die  
before he finds that thing  
to cling to

But it's frightening words to hear  
all the same.


	7. 7

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #027 – bright.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/7/**

"Let's do a double suicide," she says  
to him, and suddenly, it seems like the worst thing  
he could do

But his future's never been a bleaker one: his hope  
crumbling away, disapproved on all sides  
and that love brewing in his heart despite  
how hopeless it was, on both fronts  
because her dying heart  
already belonged to someone else.

But that didn't matter, in the least  
because she'd managed to steal his heart  
but still he couldn't, couldn't just die  
with her, even before the promise he made  
that bound him on to life.

Why was it, he wondered, when he didn't have a happy road  
ahead: no defined place to really walk towards

But for some reason he wants to keep on walking  
and he wants her to keep on walking as well,  
even if he can't understand why  
he suddenly wants to continue on  
with that seemingly worthless life.


	8. 8

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #017 – frightening.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/8/**

Death was one of those funny things  
that could turn one guy's knees to mush  
when they were usually such a strong  
standing man, and another who normally  
stuttered and flailed their way through life  
found himself standing stronger  
than ever before.

It was almost a frightening thing:  
before things had even changed  
they were changing: one was crumbling,  
one was growing  
more than he'd ever grown before

And then there was the one who had united them:  
dying even when she was still fighting to live,  
fighting to go on, even when her tools  
were all gone:

Her leg, cut off so she could never walk again,  
her breasts, her vitality carved away before  
her prime, and then her windpipe slit,  
her voice as well gone

And her last words, that whispered, defeated  
voice that had scared them so, if it'd had  
that strength, to still go on  
to act,

And maybe, in her case, fighting wasn't fighting  
to live at all, but that was just what happened  
when you lay on.  
Death, was what she'd fought for.  
Life, was that other person's fight  
who was crumbling now that her will  
was gone.


	9. 9

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #049 – listen.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/9/**

And he's on those stairs again, thinking of that boy  
from long ago, who'd jumped back in fifth grade,  
thinking there was nothing they could aim to  
in the world

But that was wrong, wasn't it? There things to move towards,  
even if they did seem so far away, so out of sight,  
and then there were those things out of sight  
they'd never think would play  
such a role in their life

But he's not thinking of walking off this time,  
of that pavement down below, nor the tightness  
in his chest: maybe it's easier now as well  
to walk up there –

It'd taken him six tries  
last time. He's done it in one today.  
A closing doors, in a way:  
because he doesn't think he can ever  
think again, after that

But that's just a mark of how he's grown,  
and found a path

Even though it's not until he plays that elusive piece  
for real, that he realises it.


	10. 10

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #002 – tire.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/10/**

She's tired of it all: that much was obvious from the start  
when she wasn't the bundle of hopes and dreams  
she appeared

Or even before that, when Tetsuya had said those fateful words  
to him, that someone's life depended on that little errand  
he'd been asked to do.

But it still doesn't hit home, not until they start talking  
like they do, topics not fit for macabre hospital rooms…  
but then again, where better, to talk about  
their deaths

And she's got nothing left to fight for now, not even her body,  
in pieces as it was, that cancer spreading  
as it was…

That hopeless tone in which she says it, those final words  
after which she never knows, she'll never speak again  
though her lips still move, still mouth the words

But not those things from before, not that wish for death,  
the exhaustion with life, that begging promise  
but instead the single desperate thing  
she still had.

When she does fall asleep, this time for good,  
there's only relief on her face:  
not a struggle for her,

Just tears and sorrow and grief and broken hearts  
left behind.


	11. 11

**A/N:** Written for the Freeverse Poetry Boot Camp at the Poetry Craze (link's in profile), prompt #014 – medical.

* * *

**there's no point in living  
so let's die together**

**/11/**

It's over; she's gone, they're still alive  
and bound together by that promise,  
the alliance of the 15s they called it

And this time, it wasn't just a passive agreement  
like he'd always done, but something wholly heartfelt:  
he's found his path in life, that point  
to keep on living on

And he does it: that wish he'd had to find the soul  
of that piece, beyond the mechanical repetition  
the books, the adults demand:  
and things change, they do –

He's convinced her, his mother, showed that soul  
he's yearned so fiercely for, that she'd disapproved,  
that had seemed like such a worthless life's goal before  
that seemed impossible

But in a year or so he's actually there, he's standing  
where he wants to be, on his way to his goal, his dream,  
the thing that cuts away at the regret  
for living on in a still cruel world

And he sees it still, that cruelty: the death,  
the lost dreams, those crushed hopes,  
but also, the whispers of some life beyond  
if he pushed, or was pushed  
far enough.

Death didn't end in that hospital bed  
after all.


End file.
